There is no right answer in writing.
This may be even more true with prose.
According to Sakutaro Hagiwara’s “Poetry and Principles,” which I have read many times,
Poetry is subjective, like music, and prose (novel) is objective, like painting.
The same is true of prose (novels), which are objective like paintings.
However, no one sentence can be neatly divided into one or the other, but rather one side or the other.
I think I am not a very good writer, even though I have written novels to death. My self-assessment, I guess, is somewhere in the lower middle.
If I were at a higher level, I would have been a best-selling author by now.
When I was younger, I thought it was just because I didn’t put in enough effort and practice. If I were to use a painting as a metaphor, I would say that it is necessary to study properly, starting with drawing, composition, coloring, and so on.
For this reason, I read and practiced the techniques of Yukio Mishima, Junichiro Tanizaki, Genichiro Takahashi, and many other novelists, but I never seemed to get any better.
Then one day, I realized that I had no desire to study novels. I realized that I did not want to learn how to write a novel.
Just like drawing a blueprint for a house to be built, you have to decide on a theme in advance, decide on a rough storyline, scatter episodes, lay foreshadowing, collect the episodes, and think about the final ending.
This is what is taught in many creative writing classes.
But for me, I just don’t like that process. Of course, I know the fragility of writing without any purpose, so I set some guidelines, but when I try to think of a detailed setting or characters, my hand stops.
Of course, there are some people for whom this way of writing is suitable, but it is fatally bad for me. It’s just boring to write. All I get is a blurry house.
However, I like the way of writing, like music, where I play a melody by randomly tapping the keys of a piano. I can’t help this.
I know this way of writing makes me feel less complete, but it feels great to type with a feeling of immersion.
It may be somewhat similar to the mind of a screaming punk rocker.
In the end, I may end up with the difficult question of what it means to write a novel, but I am a person who feels happiness when I “just put my thoughts into words.
It is a selfish image, but I prefer Mozart to Beethoven. I prefer improvisational poets to literary greats.
Therefore, I naturally write at least one piece of something every day. Even if I am not writing, I am writing. Or rather, if I don’t write, my consciousness becomes clouded. Before I know it, a stagnant, unpleasant feeling takes over.
I am sure that first-rate novelists do not write this way. Even if they did, they would probably go through a lot of polishing and proofreading, like Keiichiro Hirano and Haruki Murakami.
I sometimes wonder if the works of those who think that writing one after another is the best thing they can do can really be called art, or can they be of value to people who read them? I sometimes ponder this question.
However, no matter what kind of writing, poem, long or short story, I consider it a great success if I can look at my finished work and think, “This is a gentle poem.
“Spring winds, winter winds, driven away.”
